I can admit that most posts…okay pretty much every post, has been by Tara. She always saves her posts as a draft and asks me to read them before she posts them. I may add a line here or there, change a word or two, but basically the posts are from the heart and mind of Tara. Tonight I decided to write this post all by my little self….if you can believe it !
Tomorrow is Tara and I’s anniversary and as I think back about our lives since we got married I am fairly blown away. My life has changed so drastically since I met Tara. I can honestly say that I have never experience so much joy and love in my life and I can also honestly say that I have never experienced so much pain and heart ache in my entire life too. What I went through watching my wife lay in the hospital and cry as we were losing our daughter…. I think of those days and times and realize that I, AS THE MAN, would have crumbled if it weren’t for the second greatest gift Jesus ever game me, which was Tara. I know that I was made to be her husband and I am sooo positive that she was made to be my wife. Three years married together….I can admit that it does not sound like that long of a time, but I can say that at 31 years old I am hard pressed to remember my life farther back then 3 years ago !!! I know the reason for that is because my life did not really start before Tara.
So this site is supposed to be about our adoption journey and all of the ups and downs and lessons learned as we move through this process, so what does our anniversary have anything to do with that ? Well – to me there is no difference in these stories. What have I learned so far as we are starting through this process ? I have learned that there are so many emotional highs and emotional lows. I have learned that the shift between those highs and lows can happen in the blink of an eye. I have learned that the adoption process is not at all easy and not at all cheap. I have learned that the conversations and dreams of getting our child can bring huge smiles and great anticipation and bring flooding tears when nothing seems to be going quick enough because she is out there and needs to “come home.” I have learned that this process is not for the weak of heart. I have learned that my wife is such an amazing and strong woman. She is a woman who, against all odds, says I will keep trying and keep working to bring our daughter home. I have learned that I, on my own, am no where near strong enough and driven enough to be able to do this. Do not misunderstand me, I want to adopt more than anything and have honestly wanted to adopt children since I was young and long before I knew Tara…but what I admit here publicly is that without Tara I know I would fail on my own. God has given me a help mate that makes me appear strong and makes me a better person for being associated with her. I could write a novel with this subject in mind and heart…but I think I’ll wrap this up with the biggest lesson I have learned as we have started the adoption process. I am so blessed to have the honor of being the husband of Tara Owens. She is a woman that never ceases to amaze and I am grateful that I get to work on bringing my daughter home with her by my side !!